Who set the Hipster pipe bomb?
Did you see? Someone set off a bomb made of Draino this Saturday night/Sunday morning in South Williamsburg. Why would someone want to terrorize this otherwise innocuous block? My guesses on who the drain-unclogging-enthiasts/terror group might be:
- Publicity stunt for the new Heathers Musical gone horribly awry
- Chabadniks reclaiming the ‘Burg as their own (feel free to read into the Draino whatever metaphors you/G-d sees fit)
- Gang of hipsters from Bushwick trying to flee their bedbug infested hovels by stiking fear into the hearts of residents and thus lowering property values (bonus evidence: who else but the bearded would have Draino readily lying around the house?)
- Victims of the no-longer affordable-in-a-recession coke prices trying to find other options
