erica saves the day

New novel loosely accuses Laura Bush of having an abortion, doing it doggy style and getting eaten out by George W.

Just in time for the beach — Curtis Sittenfeld is about to come out with a new novel based on the life of current first lady Laura Bush. Radar reports that it’s:

a fictional examination of the life of the First Lady that mingles real facts and incidents with the author’s imaginative, fanciful, sometimes sexually charged musings.

In short? It’s going to be awesome.

The sundress as a tool of resistance.

Via broadsheet – Turkish women took to the streets in sundresses and spaghetti straps, to protest the arrest of a woman for exhibitionism. Which was? Fishing in a lightweight dress. The mental image I get of this protest is awesome — lots of flowing fabric and women taking to the streets. Oh also? Good luck with that whole EU thing, Turkey.

News news news!

Did you hear? Admitting gays into the military to die alongside all the straight people doesn’t actually fuck anything up.

Drinking games, on the other hand, can fuck everything up.

But that’s ok, because Obama’s still wining!

Unless he gets killed by Hilary Clinton’s plane.

But it’s still official: women in politics have no way of winning.

And, file under the news media is really getting desperate for a new angle, people with pets apparently seem to prefer McCain (wait, really? Does this mean that people will start going after the “pet vote” now? They only polled dog and cat owners though, excluding a VERY important part of the population – those who own lizards. And canaries. Maybe that’ll be the “swing” vote, heh heh. Get it? Swing? Bird? Eh…. )

Still, never forget that this is America, where anyone can make it. On reality TV. As long as you’re the prostitute that slept with Spitzer (on a side note I REALLY don’t think they mined his name enough for the plethora of prostitute-related puns that could have been made. But maybe that’s just me.).

...and, here comes Bruno!

Menu planning.

I was just brainstorming possible foods to make for the 4th of July, and am posting it in case anyone’s ever wondered what goes through my head before I cook. Obviously that’s way too much food, but I guarantee I’ll make at least one of these things. Or something completely different depending on what looks good at Fairway.

• Pico de gallo with red and orange and maybe yellow tomatoes, cilantro, red onion and jalapeño salt and pepper.
• Quesadillas with queso fresco and/or Jack cheese. Add mushrooms and epazote? Or maybe corn and salsa? Slice and serve.
• Guacamole. Or just avocado slices with dressing.
• Fresh figs/ricotta/mint sandwiches or on a baguette (I might not serve this and just save for me)
• Corn and sweet pea salad (with fresh crab maybe?)
• White bean dip (white beans with roasted garlic and really good olive oil, food processed).
• Eggplant dip (roasted and drained eggplant, garlic, turmeric, paprika, salt, pepper, good olive oil and greek yogurt. Blended.)
• Crudités with yogurt-dill dip (nonfat yogurt Dijon mustard, fresh dill salt pepper olive oil)
• Bruschetta (toasted baguette slices rubbed with raw garlic and olive oil, fresh tomatoes, red onion, basil, salt, pepper and fresh mozzarella on top).
• Roasted corn with grated queso fresco and chili and/or cayenne pepper
• mmmm, portabella mushrooms soaked in teriyaki and grilled with cheddar cheese. Dammit, I wish we could barbecue…
• Salad? With frisee and parmesan and oranges and fennel? And maybe croutons soaked in truffle oil per inspiration from my dinner last night?
• Pie! With whatever fruit I can find that looks good. Either strawberry rhubarb or blueberry? I’d say cherry but don’t want to pit them
• Berries and mascarpone.
• Olives!
• Cheese! (maybe)
• Chips/crackers/pita/pretzels
• ALCOHOL: beers, maybe vodka rum gin and brandy? Lime juice, mint for gimlets/kamikazes. Prosecco. Make infused rum (if there’s time?) or ginger vodka? Mmm and lemonade…

Bob Barr totes read The Elements of Style.

Joy originally signed me up for all of the republican presidential candidates’ AND the libertarian party’s list serves as a joke. I was too lazy to unsubscribe from the libertarian one (because really, who can take them seriously) and so keep getting the occasional email from Bob Barr. And you know what? They’re surprisingly poetic. Observe:

We live in a nation bursting with people who love liberty but governed by men who lust for power….

We now use “freedom” as an excuse to invade sovereign nations.

The protection of “liberty” is now an excuse to take it from us….

We have a chance to send a message to Washington that will rock its foundation.

Together, we can make the word LIBERTY ring true with deafening accord.

I ask you to stand with me.

Together we face the two-party behemoth that will do all that it can to silence us.

The man wants to rock the white house. How could you not vote for him? And I bet he’d totally make fireworks legal. Because they represent our freedom!

See? I *told* you anti-abortion activists just did it 'cause they hate women.

Case in point: These tshirts with the slogan “Anti-abortion, pro-date-rape.” Thanks to Jezebel for the suggestion — see picture below, and then click here to file a complaint against the sellers (T-ShirtsCom, ASUPERSHOP, Direct 4 Sale and SHOPZEUS) and then here to complain to investor relations.

Flashback: flannel

Quick thought – has Mary Kate Olsen been wearing so much flannel lately in a guerilla attempt to promote her new movie The Wackness? Or is the Wackness a precursor to an upcoming all-flannel fall season from the Olsen sisters’ clothing line? Could this be a brilliant bit of cross-promotion from the girls who made millions by the time they were 12 with a straight-to-video empire that corresponded with dolls that corresponded with a tween clothing line? Or maybe the girls have spent so much money on coke that they just couldn’t afford to shop anywhere else but the wardrobe departments of their latest films? Either way, photos of an all-flannel house party seem very ‘90s to me, but maybe only because that’s what I was doing during that decade.

When publishing picked the president.

Flashback: 2000. It’s pre-9/11 America and a bumbling cowboy is running for president. He’s someone liberals almost universally hate yet are loathe to admit that underneath the evangelical exterior and anti-tax and -abortion politics he still comes off as a regular guy you wouldn’t mind getting a beer with at the end of the day. But. He’s a candidate with sub-par intelligence, and as he’s running against the current vice-president who also happened to have invented the internet, idiocracy is a seemingly bullet-proof indictment. Rumors fly about his impotence in public speaking. His gaffes are omnipresent, and misspoken phrases ‘embarrassingly’ chronicled in the ‘liberal’ media and late night talk shows. Slate starts its ‘bushisms’ feature, chronicling his vocabulary mishaps and elevating them to levels of near urban legend and eventually turning it into a book. And then what happens? The idiot wins the election. Two times in a row.

Yes, yes, we know, you say. Why are you bringing this up now? Well. Slate has a new book out, one about a presidential candidate that’s full of funny words and quips at his expense. The name of the book? Obamamania. Why is this important? Because if history is any indicator, I think this means that Obama just won.

John McCain just joked about beating his wife, Part II

Joy:  MAYBE THATS WHY SHE WEARS SO MUCH MAKE UP

(Via urg:)